Everything you will read here is real. All names have been changed so that people focus on the lessons rather than the individuals involved.
Leo was in a relationship with mary for about five years. I loved that relationship. I was so happy for the two of them. She was a down to earth girl and had things going for her; an education and job, a good family life and values, she had an amazingly genuine best friend named Tiffany. We did everything together, parties, traveling, Christmas and New Years, I got to know both families and I liked them both equally and it sucks that it never worked out between them. When you’re rooting for someone you love to fall in love, and realize they don’t appreciate what they have, while you’re searching for the same thing.
Leo was in a relationship with Mary for about five years. I loved that relationship and was so happy for the two of them. She was a down to earth girl who had a lot going for her. She had an education, a good job, a strong family life and solid values. She also had an amazingly genuine best friend named Tiffany. We did everything together. Parties, traveling, Christmas and New Year’s. I got to know both families and I liked them equally. It sucks that it never worked out between them. I wanted to see them get married. I had envisioned it. When you are rooting for someone you love to fall in love, it is hard to watch them not appreciate what they have, especially while you are searching for the same thing yourself.
Even though our paths are different, our goals are the same.
During those five years, he constantly cheated on her. He lied repeatedly and manipulated her whenever he was confronted. He was also extremely lazy. Instead of building something for himself, he always depended on other people and tried to coast through life using whatever situation he could. Mary, on the other hand, was a very sweet and caring person but too much in love. Like many people who are deeply invested in a relationship, she hoped things would improve. She wanted to move forward and believed that if they worked through their problems, they could make the relationship work.
But that was never going to happen.
Their last fight was when Leo had sex with two coworkers. At the time, he was working at a cell phone company, like Sprint or Verizon. Thats the only type of job he can get. He began working on the floor and moved up to managing younger employees. He could be most frequently found in the back of the stores. He convinced two of his coworkers to sleep with him in a threesome. Eventually, one of the girls became jealous and decided to contact Mary directly.
One day Mary drove to Leo’s workplace. Mary called Leo outside, pretending she had brought him food. When he came out, In the passenger seat of her car was the girl who had written to her. Everything erupted right there. They started arguing and Mary was crying, asking him why he would do something like that to her. Instead of taking responsibility, Leo did what he always did, he manipulated the situation. He blamed everyone else. He dismissed the girl and claimed she meant nothing. He even tried to shift the blame onto Mary, asking why she had come there and why she had brought the other girl. That was always his pattern. He hated being caught and whenever he was exposed, he would run away from the situation or twist the narrative to make himself look like the victim.
Later on, Leo admitted to me that cheating was the only way out of the relationship. According to him, he didn’t know how to break up with Mary directly because he was unhappy. So instead of being honest, he’d rather just ruin the relationship. At the time, Leo was living in Mary’s parents’ house. They had renovated the basement to live there together. He wasn’t paying rent. All he really had to do was work and contribute to the relationship, but even that seemed to be too much. A few days went by and everything finally fell apart, he left and never returned. He didn’t take any of his clothes or belongings. The only thing he took with him was his Nintendo Switch, which Mary had bought for him as a gift. Just like that, Leo disappeared and had to start over.
One month later, I was playing Fortnite with Leo when he said he had found the love of his life and that he was planning to get married. I was shocked and couldn’t believe what I was hearing. After everything that had just happened, it felt surreal for this radical change. He told me he had met a girl and that he was going to bring her to El Salvador so that I and the rest of our friends could meet her. Around the same time, Leo started talking about a business idea. He wanted to create a company called NYES, which stood for New York El Salvador. Since I’m a designer and one of his closest friends, he asked me to help him create a logo, make shirts and build a website. I told him I would do it but that he would need to pay me since it was still real work. He agreed and I started helping him develop the concept.
Leo’s family had once owned a maquila factory in El Salvador, so clothing production was something he had always been interested in. He asked me to help find manufacturers who could produce shirts at a good price. Eventually, he rented an Airbnb in El Salvador and invited a few of his closest friends to come hang out. When we arrived, we brought beers and food. I was serving drinks and cooking, which I usually do when our group gets together because I enjoy preparing good food for everyone.
At one point, I was handing a beer to Leo when I asked him what his new girlfriend will drink. He said, “No, she can’t drink.” Immediately I knew why.
She was pregnant.
In less than a month after ending a five-year relationship with Mary, Leo had gotten another girl pregnant. He left his previous job and had met her at yet another phone company he had started working at. Her name was Emily, and she was very young, twenty years old. As the night went on, everyone started noticing that something felt off. Emily behaved in strange ways. She came from the Bronx and had Dominican roots, but during the visit she started making comments that felt insulting toward El Salvador and its people.
She complained about the country being poor and talked about things not being up to her standards. It felt uncomfortable and disrespectful, especially considering that she was visiting our home and culture. We were all put off by the attitude. Over time, we also began to notice other things about her behavior. She had frequent anxiety episodes and emotional outbursts. Sometimes she would panic, yell or react intensely to small situations. Her mannerisms were unusual and the dynamic between them seemed unstable. Looking back, the entire situation felt like a continuation of the same chaotic patterns that had defined his life for years.
They had a short one week visit and left. Shortly after that first visit, something tragic happened. Emily suffered a miscarriage. The pregnancy that everyone had discovered during the first trip ended in loss. She became deeply traumatized by it. She was grieving and angry at life. She talked a lot about how unfair it felt that some people who don’t take care of themselves can easily have children, while she couldn’t.
Because of everything she was going through, Leo eventually bought her a Pomeranian dog named Beta, which cost $5,000. The dog was meant to serve as an emotional support animal. They began referring to the dog as their baby, their child. I’ve owned dogs before, and I understand how deeply people can love them. Dogs can feel like family but to me, they’re not literally our children, they’re companions and guardian angels who share a part of our lives for a short time.
Still, for them, Beta became extremely important. We all loved the dog.
About three months later, Leo rented the same Airbnb again in El Salvador and we all gathered there once more. By that point, the NYES idea had developed further. The website existed, the merchandise had been created and the project felt more organized. Now everyone was staying together in the Airbnb at night, discussing the next steps for the business. Leo saw himself as the founder and he wanted his closest friends to join the company and essentially work under him as employees. One night we were all sitting around a table discussing the project. People were updating the company’s LinkedIn page and organizing information online. I wasn’t really doing anything during that moment because, from my perspective, my part of the work had already been done.
I was simply watching the others work when his girlfriend suddenly told me, in front of everyone, “You should get to work.”
I got pissed. She continued telling me that I should be updating my LinkedIn profile and contributing more to the project. The way she said it felt like she was ordering me around.
I immediately pushed back and said that she wasn’t my boss and, “I don’t work for him.” I told her I helped him because he was my closest friend and needed assistance with design and branding, that comes very naturally to me, so helping him wasn’t a big deal. The night had a tense atmosphere. We had ordered pizza and while waiting for it to arrive people were using laptops and talking about spreadsheets and organization.
At one point Emily openly said that she didn’t know how to use Excel.
I laughed. I couldn’t help comparing the situation to Mary, Leo’s previous girlfriend. Mary had been highly educated, with a master’s degree and a stable family background. Hearing Leo’s new girlfriend say she couldn’t even use a basic program like Excel felt like a sharp contrast.
I couldn’t contain myself. I said a very a cruel comment about her miscarriage, “Even the dumbest girl at my college can use Excel and you can’t even give birth!“
The moment those words left my mouth, the atmosphere changed instantly. She stood up and became extremely upset. She began yelling and crying, furious about what I had said she walked toward me and hit me on the right arm. Leo quickly took her into another room while another girl comforted her. After a few minutes he came back to me and said that I needed to leave.
I understood that. I told him I know and I left. That moment created a huge conflict between Leo and me. For the first time in our long friendship, we had a serious fight. We had always been close like brothers but that night put a deep cut on our relationship. Before he left to return to New York, he stopped by my house so we could talk. He told me that what I said to his girlfriend had hurt him deeply and that he expected something different from his best friend. I admitted that what I said had been wrong but the damage had already been done. After that, we didn’t speak for about six months.
Eventually, the silence softened. I would send him a meme occasionally and slowly we began talking again and reconnecting, playing Fortnite together. I knew that I eventually would have to see his girlfriend again face-to-face.
Leo visited me again once more and we went out for drinks and had fun. Emily had forgiven me and they started to go to therapy together, and their main conversation was about me and that our friendship was strong. That I would always be his best friend regardless and she would have to accept that. After that, she forgave me and they visited El Salvador together. This time it had been almost two years since that fight. On this trip she brought her cousin with her and from the start, it was clear that the cousin already disliked me. Over the years her family had heard the story of what happened that night and they had formed their own opinions about me. I don’t blame them.
I admitted that what I said had been wrong, but the damage had already been done. After that, we did not speak for about six months. Eventually the silence softened. I would send him a meme occasionally and slowly we began talking again and reconnecting, playing Fortnite together. I knew that eventually I would have to see his girlfriend again face to face. They started going to therapy together. One of the main conversations they had in therapy was about me and how strong our friendship was. They talked about how I would always be his best friend and that she would have to accept that.
Emily had forgiven me. Leo visited me again and we went out for drinks and had fun. After that, they visited El Salvador together. By that time it had been almost two years since the fight. On this third trip she brought her cousin with her and from the start it was clear that the cousin hated me. Over the years her family had heard the story of what happened that night and had formed their own opinions about me. And to be honest, I don’t blame them.
One day they came to my house. When they arrived, the cousin refused to come inside. The Uber dropped them off in front of my home and while Leo and Emily walked inside, the cousin insisted on staying outside sitting on the curb in the street. She refused. It was pride, as if she wanted to make a point because of what had happened between me and Emily years earlier.
I wasn’t going to argue about it. If she wanted to stay outside that was her decision. So I simply said, “Okay, that’s fine,” and closed the door. I did not care. Inside the house, I had prepared small hors d’oeuvres, meats, cheeses and a bottle of Prosecco, not anything fancy, just something simple.
The purpose of the evening was to make amends.
I apologized to Emily for what I had said in the past. I admitted that my words had been cruel and unnecessary. Time had passed and I wanted to solidify moving forward. To her credit, she handled the situation with more maturity than I expected. She accepted the apology and forgave me. In many ways she showed more grace than I had done before. Knowing myself, I’m not sure I would have forgiven someone so easily if the situation had been reversed. But she chose to move past it, likely because she understood how close Leo and I had been for many years. We spent time talking, drinking a little and sharing food. By the end of the time together, the tension had eased. It felt like we had finally healed some of the wounds that had existed between us.
After that visit, they returned to New York and eventually Leo fell back into his old patterns. He started cheating again. Around the fourth year of their relationship, Leo came back to El Salvador to visit me. He stayed for about two weeks. During that time we spent a lot of time together like we used to going out for drinks, talking about life and reconnecting as friends.
One night we were sitting at my favorite European-style beer bar when he told me he and Emily were taking a break.
According to him, things were not going well between them and she had temporarily moved back in with her mother. That meant he had his apartment to himself for a while.
Then he looked at me and said, “Come to New York”.
He reminded me that we had talked about it many times over the years. He said I should leave El Salvador for a while, experience something new and try building my life there. He even offered to let me stay in his apartment. Hearing that brought back memories of the friend I used to know. That was the friend I had missed, the one who encouraged me, who wanted to see me grow and experience new opportunities.
At the time I had just finished my master’s degree. I was looking for a new job and thinking about the next chapter of my life. The idea of going to New York suddenly felt possible. I talked to my mother and told her I wanted to try living there for a while, to explore something different and see where life might take me. She supported my decision and I had already visited New York many times before during college, but this time would be different. This time I would actually live there.
So I decided to do it. I packed my things and bought a plane ticket. I even booked the same flight Leo was taking back to New York. We left El Salvador together in September 2022 and I moved into his apartment in Queens and lived there for about six months. Those six months were the first time I truly lived away from home and had to take care of myself completely. It was the beginning of learning how to function as an adult by cooking, cleaning, managing responsibilities and sharing space with someone like roommates do.
Our flight had a connection in Miami. When we arrived there, the airport was completely packed. There were huge crowds everywhere and the lines were incredibly long. Because of the chaos, there were delays across the airport and many people started missing their flights. Unfortunately, we were among them. Luckily, an agent rebooked us on a flight for the next morning and they also gave us a free hotel for the night.
On the way to the hotel, we messaged an old friend of ours who lived in Miami. He had been one of our closest friends growing up. In high school, the three of us were practically inseparable. You could say we were the Three Musketeers. We knew everything about each other: our girlfriends, our problems, our dreams. We had taken so many weekend trips together and shared countless nights of drinking, laughing and getting into trouble. Those were some of the best memories of my youth.
That night in Miami became a small reunion. We met up with him for a few hours. We ate hamburgers, had some drinks together and drove around the city talking about life and reminiscing about the past. I told him about my plan, to live with Leo in New York for a few months, find a job and try to rebuild my life in the United States. Our friend wished me the best and encouraged me to pursue the opportunity. Eventually we said our goodbyes.
The next morning we flew to New York. When we arrived at Leo’s apartment, we set up the air mattresses and I slept in a corner of the apartment, and that small space became my home for the next several months, from September 2022 until the end of January 2023. During that time, I had one job: Find a job.
That was my mission every single day. Meanwhile Leo was still living his usual high school lifestyle by going out, partying, drinking and chasing women whenever he was away from home. My life, on the other hand, had always been different. I had spent most of my time focused on studying, working and building things. I preferred staying inside, reading, designing websites and working on my video game ideas. I had my moments of going out and partying when I was younger, but eventually I realized that didn’t lead anywhere meaningful. I wanted to focus on creating something with long-term value.
For me, the goal was always to turn ideas into something real, to take nothing and build it into something meaningful. Living in New York during those months was the beginning of that next chapter. I had spent the previous few years building my skills and preparing for this moment. I had developed my résumé and created a personal website to showcase my work. I spent years studying and learning different disciplines of design, taking photographs, writing blog posts and experimenting with SEO strategies. I wanted to develop real marketing and communication design skills so I could qualify for a strong position.
Most of my life had been spent studying and working quietly. It was always a bit of a pipe dream, but it was one I believed in. Being in New York felt like a huge opportunity. For the first time, I felt like I might be able to pursue that dream more seriously, either by finding work in the video game industry or by building a career in design and marketing. So that was the beginning of a new chapter in my life.
A long and difficult journey had just begun: the search for a job in a New York City.
